My body is now made up of 75% candy – primarily, Snickers and Twix fun size bars.

Once again, I overestimated just how much candy was needed. I bought four giant bags, but only three trick-or-treaters were brave enough to venture up our creepy front steps.

Anyone else have this happen to them?

I am definitely one of the more cheaper mofos out there in the world.

Something that you come to appreciate later in life is the fact that Asian don’t raisin.

Where did the summer go?

Who wears a long sleeve, hooded sweatshirt in 95 degree weather?

Rice is serious bidness.

In this week’s issue of the Sampan Newspaper: Who cares what the next iPhone 11 will look like – we want to know what the latest rice cooker technological advances are…well, not me, but for some reason my mother is obsessed with having the latest rice cooker even though the only function she’ll ever use is the one button to cook the rice.

So, the rice cooker my folks had bit the dust a few months ago. On the hunt for a replacement, I found a basic model that would’ve been perfect. When I showed it to her, she was offended. She wanted the model with all the bells and whistles – timer function and various settings to make brown rice, white rice, congee, steamed vegetables or cake. She will use none of these settings, but will have peace of mind knowing that they are available to her.

We got her the Zojirushi 5.5 cup Micom Rice Cooker & Warmer. She loves it – it was a nice compromise.

Find out what happens when you go to someone’s house and…they don’t require you to take your shoes off.

In today’s issue of Sampan 舢舨 Newspaper: “Shoes on, shoes off.”

Find out what happens when the perfect eyeglass frame for the perfect fit is found. For people with a low nose bridge, this can be quite the challenge.

In today’s issue of Sampan 舢舨 Newspaper: “Seeing the World Through a New Lens.”